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Return to Sender
Have you ever received or sent a letter to the wrong address? I once discovered a missive destined for Missouri at a post office box in Connecticut. The zip codes were similar enough that no one along the way noticed the problem until I realized it wasn't my name on the envelope. In another situation, the people who lived in my house before me still receive some of their mail here, even after an almost ten year lag in the living arrangement. I read online a few weeks ago that a letter had been delivered after it had been sent forty-five years earlier. How many places did it land before finally reaching its intended recipient?
Misdelivered mail always seems rather sad, like a displaced person anxiously looking all around for some clue as to what to do next. Having a clear sense of where it has come from, it can't quite figure out what its next step should be. So it waits for a kindly soul to label it to be returned to its origination point. Once back home, the letter can be cleared of a smeared address, put in a fresh envelope or have added postage attached and be sent back out on its journey once again.
Perhaps there are days we feel as if we are letters gone astray. Do you ever feel so confused and befuddled as to your purpose in life that you just want to curl up in a padded envelope and be sent back to where you started so you can begin again? Are there days when you feel shredded and mangled by every encounter and exchange, so much so that you can't wait to be stuffed into a little baggie and returned home to lick your wounds? There may be other days when you know you can make it if you just get a little help from someone, friend or stranger, who is willing to direct you along to the next step, simply because they can and they want to. There are also probably a few days when yelling at the person or persons you feel are to blame for you being a lost letter in the first place might feel like the best option.
In his second letter to the church at Corinth, Paul wrote, "Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Surely we do not need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you or from you, do we? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all; and you show that you are a letter of Christ, prepared by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts (II Corinthians 3:1-4)." Paul's words directly address the issue of whose words we value when determining the character of the people we meet. Most often, then as now, employers want references, written proof of who we are, what our moral and work ethics are comprised of and how we have proven ourselves by our past behavior. Since whatever ill behavior we have displayed is not included in such offerings, the character of the person providing the reference on another's behalf is just as important to know as the potential employee. "Consider the source:" was never more appropriately applied then when searching to fill an empty slot in an organization. Letters of recommendation have also been used in a personal manner, to confirm someone's identity, who they know and where they come from.
While we are used to significant access to all types of information about each other's lives, Paul's Corinthian church couldn't boot up a computer and order a background check on each person they met or who wanted to be a part of this new faith developing in congregations all across the Greek and Roman Empires. So Paul tells the Corinthians, who most likely raised the issue to Paul in another letter or on a prior visit by Paul, to think about this concern a bit more. Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Are we thinking so highly of ourselves that we have forgotten our mission and who calls us into being? Why do we need letters to prove who we are to each other? You are the letter that has already been written, written on all our hearts. Everyone can know and read this by who you are. Paul tells the Corinthian church he loves, a church which has had great challenges in working out what it means to be a faith community, that they show themselves to be a letter of Christ to the world, prepared by all of them. It is a letter etched on their hearts by God's Spirit, something much more clear, solid and lasting than words chipped into stone tablets. Having lived through the turmoil implied in his first letter to them, it wouldn't be a surprise for the parishioners at Corinth to feel a need to set some boundaries, clamp down and know where they stand, and to let everybody else know too. Accountability can feel like nine-tenths of the law.
We are not so different. When we feel mangled, maligned or mistreated we want to feel safe, know where we stand and set a new standard, a new starting point for ourselves. We want to feel whole again. But holding other people accountable to prove themselves to us in this process is as futile as the Corinthian church expecting letters of recommendation to solve their communication and relational issues. Accountability may feel like nine-tenths of the law, but living by the letter of the law is not what we as people of the Christian faith are about. Paul goes on to say that "Our confidence is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life (II Corinthians 3:5)."
Paul directs his people back to their Sender and their belief in the the Spirit who guided them in creating their community in their hearts. Returning to our Sender, that same Spirit, will help us refocus, help us remember who we are, Whose we are, and to whom we belong as a continuing community here on earth. Our hearts always speak the truth as the letter of God's grace.
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A Sacred Cow
You may have heard about Star.
Star is a calf who was born in Rural Retreat, Virginia, this past December 27. Her birth would not be singled out among the thousands of calves born every year but for the simple fact that Star was born with two faces. While forty to fifty people stopped by the Heldreth family farm each day to see the two-faced calf for themselves, Kirk Heldreth, Star's owner, considered donating her to Virginia Tech for research purposes or selling her for show. But Heldreth and his family grew attached to Star, deciding they would like to "keep her around for awhile and see how she does." What is most interesting, and touching, is that Heldreth believes that, "the unique thing about Star is she's got the will to survive more than any calf I've ever seen." Spoken like any proud parent, seeing beautiful strength where others see only grotesque deformity.
What do you think Jesus saw as he got up each day and headed out to do his Father's business? It would appear that Jesus had an understanding of what he needed to do each day and sought out those most open to receiving his help. With his growing reputation came more and more people, many living on the fringe of the excitement generated by the hope that Jesus was the Messiah, but still very much interested in his message and work. It is fascinating to me that for all the times that Jesus encountered, engaged and healed the blind, the lame, the comatose and the deaf, his disciples and followers never ceased to be amazed at his power, his ability to transform lives in short ordered, simple conversations ending with people getting up and walking away to new lives. It's easy to identify with their perspective. A steady diet of miracles takes a little getting used to.
Although it would appear that Jesus went out each day looking for woundedness, poverty, shame, disability and broken spirits to make whole, I don't think anything about Jesus indicates that he held that perspective. I don't think Jesus went searching for what was wrong in people's lives. Jesus traveled the land making connections with people who happened to be struggling with physical, emotional and spiritual issues. Since Jesus' own life wasn't particularly easy, my guess is he felt a kinship, a unity of purpose and hope as he moved among the men, women and children, Jewish and Gentile, that he met each day. You see, there is a difference between defining other human beings by what you think is wrong with them and opening yourself to a person created in God's image. It would appear that Jesus was more about the latter.
And this is where we come back to Star, the calf with two faces and the family who loves her.
While I'm sure the Heldreth family was a bit startled by Star at her birth, their immediate concern was not how to fix her deformity, but to love her and keep her alive. As it turned out, her own will to survive allowed her to drink from a bottle, which solved the problem. It also allowed her caretakers to "spoil her," cuddling her as she ate. Other farmers may have decided she wasn't worth saving, but the Heldreths saw their Star as unique, not for her physical appearance, but for her spirit. The crowds coming to see the calf with two faces are only coming to see something odd, something unusual that they might never have the chance to see again. Granted, the daily gathering of gawkers will not get to know Star personally, but because of the Heldreths' example they do have the chance to look at her as something more than a freak of nature, to see her as a living being created by God, which is by its very nature something quite wonderful.
The Gospels give accounts indicating Jesus performed a number of healings privately and then urged those recipients to keep silent about what had happened. I'm not quite sure how that would be possible. But I suspect these private moments and their more public counterparts were offered to anyone paying attention as an opportunity to explore their own perceptions. Jesus may even have posed the question, "If you have come to see to be able to believe, what is it you now see? What is it that you now believe?" We have not been privy to all the personal stories from people who came to hear the Sermon on the Mount, those who assembled for Jesus' return to Jerusalem on Palm Sunday or those who gathered at the cross on the day of his death. We don't know if or how people's lives were changed by their observations of how Jesus saw other people, and from that awareness, how he interacted with other people.
Suffice it to say that Jesus didn't look at anybody as if they were a calf with two faces. He looked at each person he met, seeing their beautiful strength and their faith. He saw the best of who God created them to be and he loved them. That is how God sees us and responds to us now. That is, by this example, how we can look at and respond to each other.
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Living With The Existence of God
Thursday night television has become a weekly ritual for me after many years of reticence on the subject. Indeed, I had my doubts at the beginning of this season last fall too, seeing a whole range of episodic dramas that demanded immediate, long-term commitments. Difficult to accomplish if missing one program means losing track of the story lines or the potentially good series is canceled prematurely. There also seemed to be glut of crime shows involving forensic work. While I enjoy a good mystery, I'm not a blood and guts kind of gal, at least not five or six hours a week.
But Grey's Anatomy is now a personal favorite. It is a limited purveyor of people's insides, and said people usually start out their scene alive, even if they don't make it to the commercial that way. Less about the patients, Grey's follows the personal and professional lives of a group of doctors at fictional Seattle Grace Hospital. Truth be told, the program is about the emotional insides of its characters, which can be much more raw and graphic than the physical counterparts.
Last night's episode closed with the death of George O'Malley's father. George is a surgical intern. His father came to Seattle Grace, along with his wife and two other sons, for treatment for a perceived heart condition that turned out to be a double dip into a cancer that had spread too far. George's family looked to him for guidance and strength in making the decision to let his dad go. Afterward, Christina, a member of George's Seattle Grace family, with whom he had feuding, came to find him, to welcome him to the "dead dads club." It was a club, she explained, that you could only join when it happened to you. Her own father had died when she was nine, and she was sorry to include him at that moment. George told Christina that he couldn't imagine going on living in a world in which his dad doesn't exist. Christina bluntly, but compassionately, told George the truth, that that simple fact never changes.
Having lost my own dad over half my own lifetime ago, I know Christina is quite right. For the first time in years I thought to myself a few days ago that I should ask my dad a question about his parents for my ancestry research. He has not been a part of my daily life for almost twenty-five years, but I imagine that he is still here. That certainty of him being gone and me remaining seems to be divided by such a thin line that he should be able to cross back and forth, at least for basic information and an occasional hug. But he can't.
Pondering George and Christina's conversation, I began to consider the certainty of God's presence among us on earth. The majority of our United States population says they believe God exists, but that is where the surveyors complete their fact finding mission. There doesn't appear to be much collected data on why people believe God exists or how that impacts their lives. Is the fact of God's existence like accepting that Niagara Falls and the Rocky Mountains are there, even though you haven't seen them? What do these people who believe in God think God does all day? Where does God live? How much power does God possess? Does God control all the stop lights and the lines at Dunkin' Donuts? Is God judgmental, mean spirited, unfair? If God is all-knowing, does God care how often we clean our bathrooms or if we tip the paper carrier at Christmas? I'm sure you have your own list of questions to draw up for those who care enough to survey all the believers in God's existence in the future.
As with George, Christina, me and everybody else whose dad has died and must live with the fact, so too those of us who say we believe that God exists must live with that fact. We must define what that means for us and how that impacts our lives.
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Engagement with Grace
Traditionally, June is wedding month. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because high school and college graduations are generally held in late May, summer vacation time is available for families to travel for such events, or people like the natural flow of life's milestones to move as steadily as possible. Whatever the underlying cultural currents, the fact that January is bridal expo month should come as no surprise. With Christmas festivities now completed and Valentines Day still several weeks into the future, retailers are ready to entertain and engage us in this lull between the two holiday celebrations. It is an interesting shift from trying to out-bless each other in our giving to the big business of creating the wedding of one's dreams. Bridal expos showcase everything we associate with the modern wedding: bride and bridesmaids dresses, tuxes, flowers, caterers, reception halls, bands, honeymoon trips and invitations. There are even wedding planners available, routinely presenting themselves for busy couples who can't carve time out of their lives to handle all the details.
One choice most women and men still cling to is choosing the engagement ring. The romantic notion of a man elegantly dropping to one knee while opening a small velvet box to reveal a dazzling expression of his intent is completely endearing, especially if accompanied by a string quartet or the soundtrack from Sleepless in Seattle. Once a woman starts to announce her engagement, the first two utterances she hears are, " How did he propose?" and " Show me the ring." Having seen this scenario played out many times, it finally dawned on me why something felt off, not quite right about the whole deal. It's because it feels like a DEAL, a business transaction with lots of sugar coating. Before you write me off as jaded, cold-hearted or nuts, bear with me.
Proposing marriage is, after all, a risk. Any time a yes or no question is raised either answer is an option. Courage is required when one's heart is on the line, as well as a certain amount of hope and faith in what each person has already given and received in the relationship. Asking someone not only to accept all that you are, but also be willing to offer all that they are to you, forever, is an awe-inspiring, terrifying moment. What if either party feels a little less than adequate to live into that kind of commitment, or simply feels they don't have the work ethic to carry it off?
An exquisitely expensive piece of jewelry does a whole lot to distract from future incidentals like money management, extended family and household chore distribution. While you and everybody else are looking at the ring, the engagement and wedding plans take on a life of their own, frequently superseding what this small business project was initially meant to be, a union of hearts. What other relationship in our culture mandates such an exchange of material wealth? If we promised our children relatively equivalent goodies in exchange for their undying love we would call that a bribe.
Perhaps we are also culturally attuned to expect that God is supposed to offer us an engagement ring of sorts, proof that the love is real. We feel entitled to fine houses, hefty bank accounts and premium living because we have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. If God calls us into this relationship, then it follows that God would only want the best for us, the best of everything. What we are missing is that the ring, the house, the money and an extravagant lifestyle doesn't make the relationship, and the best of everything is definable by our belief in things mattering.
Closing the cover on that bright, shiny ring may help us see a little more clearly what God is offering us. God comes to us bearing much more than pretty stones artfully arranged in precious metals. God brings a love for us that has been since before we were born, patience with any ill behavior or temper we can muster, a deep understanding and kindness for all our hurts, and forgiveness when we have caused pain for someone else. Most poignantly, God interweaves all of this with a rich thread of grace, a generosity of spirit that is immeasurable.
What God gives to us we can give to one another. While easier to rely on tangible goods to express our feelings, the simple truth is that feelings matter more, and sharing them, living into them, is everything. Offering one's genuine self in a relationship, as friends, siblings, parents or partners, is riskier, but more valuable than any treasure on the planet. Loving relationships, with God or with each other, aren't easy, but they are good.
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We Hold These Truths: An Open Letter to President Bush
Mr. President,
Why do you feel compelled to read my personal mail?
I'm having a hard time with this concept, so please, bear with me as I get my facts in order. You have claimed some broad, new powers to open any American's mail without a judge's warrant. Having signed the Postal Accountability and Enhancement Act into law on December 20, 2006, you then issued a signing statement that declared your right to open our mail under "emergency conditions." Most of this act dealt with basic reform steps, but it also explicitly reinforced protections of first class mail from searches without court approval. Your claim to be able to access our privacy as American citizens in this most profoundly invasive way goes against current law and contradicts the bill you signed less than a month ago. It also surprised the people who voted the bill into law. " Despite the President's statement that he may be able to circumvent a personal privacy protection, the new postal law continues to prohibit the government from snooping into people's mail without a warrant," said Rep. Henry Waxman (D-California), the incoming House Government Reform Committee chairperson, who co-sponsored the bill.
This all feels vaguely familiar to me. Perhaps it is because last year around this time your focus was absorbed by tapping into personal telephone conversations. Having been caught illegally eavesdropping, I trust you have corrected that lapse in judgment. Assuming you are no longer listening to me arrange vacation cat care with my neighbor, I would like to say thank you and please continue to mind your own business. I am not appreciative of those who are not willing to deal with me directly and honestly, and that seems to be your trending behavior. You have to know that what you are doing is simply wrong and disrespectful in both the short and the long run of things, but I am not so sure. I think you have forgotten by whom you were elected and in whose service you are now called to act.
Luke's gospel tells us that the temple leadership had become, shall we say, a bit full of themselves, and rather concerned that Jesus was becoming more than they wanted to deal with. As Jesus' popularity grew, their own power began to wane. "One day, as he was teaching the people in the temple and telling the good news, the chief priests and the scribes came with the elders and said to him, 'Tell us, by what authority are you doing these things? Who is it who gave you this authority?' He answered them, 'I will also ask you a question, and you tell me: Did the baptism of John come from heaven, or was it of human origin?' They discussed it with one another, saying, 'If we say from heaven, he will say, Why did you not believe him? But if we say, of human origin, all the people will stone us, for they are convinced that John is a prophet.' so they answered that they did not know where it came from. Then Jesus said to them, 'Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things (Luke 20:1-8)."
Mr. President, your authority does not come from your ability to manipulate facts, fears or the United States' popular need to believe it is the best country in the world. It does not come from your own sense of entitlement to shape your time in this office you now hold to suit your own needs, spoken and unspoken, whatever they may be. We the United States citizens you were elected to serve, are not on trial. We do not need to prove our innocence or proof text our constitutional rights. My understanding is that you swore to uphold the constitution that guarantees us the liberties and freedoms you say we are fighting for in this war in Iraq that has gone on far too long. I am deeply concerned that you have lost sight of your role in our country's present and its future. Trying to label your fellow citizens as wrong, and sneaking behind our backs to do so, indicates to me that you have aligned yourself with political chief priests, elders and scribes who see the truth, but choose to ignore it.
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Faithful Servant, Child of God
Our thirty-eighth president, Gerald R. Ford, died the day after Christmas and will be buried today in Grand Rapids, Michigan, after what has become our national standard of state mourning rituals this past weekend. President Ford returned to the House of Representatives in which he served for twenty-five years, his casket resting in the Capital Rotunda for us to come and pay our respects. Two of his children, Susan and Steven, met those who mourned their father. As a fellow Midwesterner, it occurs to me that this is a common practice of our people. The funeral held yesterday at Washington's National Cathedral included four eulogies, the Marine Orchestra and a homily designed to remind us that while President Ford was a true public servant, he first served his God.
That combination, rare in any age, was quite a necessity and a relief for the American people as Mr. Ford took office near the end of the summer of 1974. President Nixon's resignation after the twists and turns of Watergate summoned us to witness this televised historic event. So did President Ford's pardon of his predecessor within one month of his taking office. At the time, many Americans wanted Nixon held responsible, accountable, even wanted his blood. President Ford knew that, but also knew that what we really needed as a country was to let go of the past, move on and heal from our wounds.
In the twenty-eight months of Mr. Ford's presidency that followed his pardoning of former President Nixon, he would lead us out of Vietnam, contribute to helping end apartheid rule in South Africa and, by participating in the Helsinki Accords, open the door through which Ronald Reagan would step to shake hands with Mikhail Gorbachov to end the Cold War. If we had been stuck back in striking back at all the wrongs Nixon had perpetrated against the country, President Ford may not have been able to do this work on our behalf. President Ford chose to extend mercy at an inconvenient time. Many people believe ti cost him the 1976 election against Jimmy Carter. Those who show mercy, especially in such public ways, do not always see mercy extend back to them, except by the hand of God.
Rev. Robert G. Certain, former President Ford's pastor at St. Margaret's Church in Palm Desert, California, in his funeral homily reflected on this mercy extended to former President Nixon, but also to another fractious situation with which they were both familiar, the debate in their own Episcopal Church over homosexual relationships. Mr. Ford did not think the issue should be splitting Episcopalians. "He asked me if we would face schism after we discussed the various issues we would consider, particularly concerns about human sexuality and the leadership of women," Rev. Certain said. "He said that he did not think they should be divisive for anyone who lived by the great commandments and the great commission to love God and to love neighbor."
Clearly, former President Ford did live by those commandments, in both his public life and personal beliefs. Who he was and how he managed his life was consistent with how he saw God as active and alive in our world. Sometimes the choices of faith do not reap the benefits, immediate or long-term, for which we would hope. But, looking back, we can see what a difference this one man made in all our lives, the life of our country and in the world because he chose to live by what he believed.
