Conversation Point

In This Moment

What We Have

7th Heaven, a popular, long-running program on the WB network, chronicles the lives of the Camden family, comprised of a minister, his wife and their seven children. The parents, Annie and Eric, have been at this process quite awhile, and have added their children's spouses and two grandchildren to the fold. My impression is that this program isn't about easy faith answers, people who are always nice to each other, or people who live easy, smooth lives with no mistakes in them, especially the parents. A recent episode dealt with the ongoing story lines around a son's engagement to a woman his parents find pushy and controlling, a daughter's fierce need to date a man too old, and too experienced for her, and the teen fatherhood of a young man who had lived with the family for a time.

After an evening of watching these scenarios play out before him, as well as his own struggle with trying to get his hands on the piece of pie he longs for, Eric makes the point that the holiday season is becoming focused on what we want, instead of what we have. Referencing his future daughter-in-law, he tells his son that focusing so much attention on what our wants are that we become obsessed with them, causes us to rarely be satisfied or pleased when they are finally in our hands. Eric later makes the point with his daughter that, even though he gloats over being right about her potential date, his son-in-law is impatient, and their friend the soon-to-be father is very stubborn, this is who they are and what they have. And all of that is okay.

In these two observations is a message for ourselves and for the church. Wanting what we don't have rarely brings us happiness, even if we end up getting it, and all that wanting takes our attention away from what we do have, which is usually pretty good stuff.

What's the biggest want you have in your life right now? Do you have your eye on a new car, a promotion at work, a new relationship that you just can't get off your mind? How much of yourself, your time and your energy are you devoting to this diversion in your life? What would you be investing your time and energy on if you hadn't decided your life wasn't as good as you wanted it to be without this item, job or person in it? How has the shape of your life changed as you have opened up yourself to this created want? Try for a moment to completely empty your mind of whatever it is you have focused on as a want, and instead, focus on something you have. Does the car you drive now run fairly well, get good gas mileage or fit all of your family members comfortably? What do you like about your present job? Are you familiar with its routines, and so don't bring fears and stresses home about your performance level? Do the hours and the commute suit your personal needs? How do the relationships you already have in your life work? Do you have friends with whom you share meals, conversation or social events? Do you help each other out when the need arises, whether it's easy or convenient, or not?

The point is that obsessing over what is not in our life or out of our reach is different than welcoming new additions to the abundance that is already in our lives. Squeezing wants into the haves usually distorts our reality in tangible ways that are visible once we take a step back and get the full view. Focusing on a new car draws us away from appreciating how easy the existing vehicle makes our lives. Yearning for a new position only makes sense if we keep doing our present job to its fullest in order to prepare for the promotion if it comes. Directing all our energies into the hope of a new relationship, while neglecting everybody who is already in our life, doesn't say much about our desire to invest in people, including ourselves. Looking at what we don't have creates a sort of amnesia about what is abundantly present in our lives already. When we forget what we have or disclaim its value in wanting, we lose out on our future twice over. Before we know it, we've devalued our lives to the point of continuous frustration.

In the same vein, how often have you longed for your church to look like a real church, the kind Paul spoke about in I Corinthians 12? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be involved with the part of the Body of Christ that functioned well? There would always be enough Sunday school teachers, the minister would make everyone happy, no one would pout or complain about finances or having to do more than their fair share of the work. Nice picture. But while we focus our attentions on what we want to happen, the church continues to happen all around us. So, we miss out on the choir director meeting with the pastor to create meaningful connections in worship services among the music, scriptures and prayers. We miss the conversations and smiles at coffee hour that show care among church members for each other's well being. We walk right by the youth fellowship table set up to answer questions about an upcoming mission trip.

If you turn your thoughts and attentions away from what the Body of Christ is to what you want it to look like, you miss out on some pretty good stuff. And for all the pettiness, impatience, gloating and stubbornness, as well as assorted other ill behaviors and habits, that's okay too. The body Jesus inhabited was human, as is the collective membership of the Body of Christ we now call the church. There is a reason for both I Corinthians 12 existing to help us understand how God intended to equip the faith community to function as Christ's body, and for the following chapter to help us do so in spite of ourselves.

Until next time, God's blessings.

posted by Cory L. Kemp @ 7:40 PM