Conversation Point

In This Moment

Looking for Love

Online dating services have solidly planted themselves into our culture as one way to meet a variety of people from which to choose a mate. Say what you will about the old fashioned way of handling things, but many people are freely admitting to meeting their one and only via the internet. What ever your opinion of this new method of meet and greet, it does have its roots in the inherent desire of human beings to connect with one another, to create emotional intimacy and full, rich lives. Locating love isn't so much the difficulty as recognizing what love looks like before you begin the search.

For some powerfully descriptive terms of love we need look no further than I Corinthians 13:4-8a: "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends;" While popular, memorable and frequently quoted, it is important to remember that these are words related to a congregation pitted against itself in working through what it meant to create a community of faith during a time in which there were no precedents on which to rely. That is what makes these words so powerful, their unlimited application in any human interaction, any human relationship in which true growth and development is desired. Whether nurturing a new church or a new relationship, it is a great skill to recognize what love looks like, what loving behavior truly is, in another person, and even more so, in ourselves.

Love is patient, kind and rejoices when things go right. Think about the relationships in your life and those you observe as you move through your daily routines. Do you see people taking time to help someone with their packages or listen to a request without tapping a foot or looking at their watch every few seconds? Do you notice couples sharing words, but coming to a peaceful, cooperative decision? Those are loving behaviors. Love also bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things, and never ends. That is not to say that love is foolish or blind, but that love recognizes the truth, the faith in another person as paramount to the relationship shared. When loving behaviors build the foundation of a life, those behaviors extend out like branches from a tree reaching for the sun, and nurture everyone and everything with whom they come in contact. The patience, kindness and joy in the world going the right way isn't clutched only for themselves, but is shared openly. Love becomes the lifestyle choice, that choice from which all other choices are made.

While some Biblical passages can take some time to understand, to set into historical context to be able to grasp their meaning, what love isn't is very clear. It isn't loving to be jealous or boastful, arrogant or rude. Loving behaviors are not defined by irritability or resentment, and clearly not by rejoicing when something goes wrong. Again, take a moment to consider these behaviors and when you may have noticed them in other people's relationships, or your own. Have you seen someone shout down a sales clerk until they got what they wanted? Have you witnessed spouses snapping at one another, or believing a crowning achievement was to show their partner as wrong in a disagreement? Not particularly attractive, and rather uncomfortable to be around, isn't it? When you stop to consider this, would love defined by God's terms in any relationship be uncomfortable to be around or in?

What Paul wrote to the church at Corinth about interacting with each other in a loving fashion is also relevant today in how we choose to present ourselves as loving people in any type or relationship. It is usually easier to find loving people when we recognize loving behaviors, in other people, and in ourselves.

Until next time, God's blessings.

posted by Cory L. Kemp @ 2:41 PM